This is me, looking inward...

I wrote a lot more. I deleted it. I was suddenly uncomfortable with how much I'd shared. Sorry.

I know in a lot of people's eyes, I'm a bitch. I'm OK with that. If I'm being a bitch. But most the time, they look at me and assume I am. This impression sticks with them, forever. When that pursed lip look I tend to take is shown, please remember that it is only a symptom of having bucked teeth as a child, that need to always hide the hideous smile from the world.

For those in my classes this quarter... the only class I truly loved the people in was the capstone. My heart has always been bursting with love for people. In this instance, if I say it, it just means I like you a whole lot, but not in a weird Mrs. Robinson kind of way. I may not list your name, also because I can't remember everyone. I'm not a God, but mostly I'm tired.

Josh P. Seriously, he is one of my favorite people in the world. The fact that he is so strong and stoic about his health challenge blows my mind. (I can't spell it). I love your poetry. I love your humor, and I think you are really cute.

Chris C. He has got to be one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. Besides myself, of course. He's funny, too, and all you have to do is make me laugh, and you have a spot beside me for always. This goes for everyone mentioned here though. I hope you don't forget about me, Chris, cuz I won't forget about you.

Aaron K. You are funny, intelligent, and when you put your hair back in a pony tail and leave part of it down, you remind me of a very young Mongul. But cute, not dangerous and marauding. I hope you get your comic book making skills up off the ground and live your dreams.

Jenai! I've only had you in two classes. Both were this year, as you know. My first idea of you was, "She's quiet and likes Thai noodles." Then it became, "She seems fun." And then, "Wow she is mean to me." Of course, that was an email snafu, and I came to understand I was being touchy. :) You rock, girl, and I can't wait to see what life brings your way.

Nancy. I've had you in a couple classes. You always brought in stacks of books., which blew my mind. I could tell you really love what you are learning. When you were showing older books to Josh in Binney's class, I wanted so bad to know what they were. I love old books. LOVE THEM... but I didn't know you well enough to butt in. You're funny and smart and I hope I learn more about you in the years to come.

David. Hey. I always thought you didn't like me. Until this quarter, really. I don't know why. Maybe it was my inner demon being a bitch. Probably, cuz we had some good laughs, and good conversations...

Scott. Scott, when I was telling my husband about you, I said, "He's very personable." Then I was accused of being an old lady for saying that. I was floored when I heard you were put on the waiting list for Fiction. I didn't understand why you weren't snatched right up. You are an awesome writer. I hope to one day buy a book of your essays or short stories, or a novel. Hey, do all three. :) I hope that one day you and your girlfriend both quit smoking. It's super hard, but if I can do it, you can do it. Believe me... I'm a huge addict. About everything. Now I just need to kick the Mountain Dew addiction, then I can move on to fatty foods. Kicking them, not eating them. I do that enough now. :)

Lisa. You are a great person and a wonderful writer. You are not afraid to try something that is new to you, and I think you should keep on doing it. Keep on writing (like your blog says) and don't be afraid of failure. It is that fear that holds us down (I know it holds me down).

There are a lot of folks I wish I could have gotten to know better. A lot of people I wish I could have made friends with.